If jealousy is an issue in your relationship or marriage, then you already know that jealous feelings and jealousy can be frustrating, annoying, painful and even embarrassing.

Any expert will agree that, if left unchecked, jealous feelings and jealousy can single-handedly destroy an otherwise good or even great relationship.

Most people dealing with jealousy think they are doomed to live with it forever. We can understand why you might think that way. The reality is that we know you can stop the jealousy.

We know this because, long before we were successful relationship coaches and authors, jealousy was an issue for us in our relationship and we were able to overcome it. We learned the secrets to overcoming jealousy and now... several years later, we teach these skills for overcoming jealousy to people like who want to rid themselves of the pain and embarrassment of jealousy in their relationships and lives.

Once you figure out where your jealousy is coming from, you will then need to discover why it makes you feel jealous. For instance, if you figured out that it makes you jealous when your boyfriend or girlfriend talks to the opposite sex, then you need to discover why it makes you jealous. Did you have an experience in a previous relationship that now causes you to feel jealous with similar situations, or do you just have a fear of being betrayed? If so, why does that fear exist? Is your self-esteem a little lower than you thought? As you can see, there is a huge line of questions that need to be asked and answered in order for your jealousy to be conquered and under control. Acknowledging it is the first and important step, so you are already on the right and smart track!

Once you have realized where your jealousy comes from and what causes it, you can then concentrate on keeping it in control and hopefully get rid of it. If the reason has something to do with your partner, then it is best to have a serious conversation with him or her about it. Do not be afraid or feel stupid for feeling the way you feel. You have the right to express yourself and they are entitled to knowing what is making you feel jealous. If they truly care about you, they will work on ways to prevent you from experiencing such emotions. It is also a good idea to make an appointment with yourself and find ways you can improve your self-love and health, so that you can gain more strength and confidence, and be ready fight off such jealousies when they come to surface.

Toning down your jealousy and possibly getting rid of it for good will take time. It all depends on the situations and reasons. If having a flirtatious partner makes you jealous and your partner stops flirting, then it may be easier to overcome. However, if your jealousy is coming from a different area such as your competitive nature towards other women, then it will be more difficult. It is very common for women to feel jealous of each others physique, success and relationships. The best way to fight this jealousy off is to improve your own self-health and lifestyle. Do things that boost your confidence. If you feel jealous of what great shape another woman is in and the attention she gets, then perhaps you should focus on yourself rather than her success. Concentrate on finding ways to satisfy yourself both physically and mentally.



To keep yourself on the right track of jealousy conquering, just remember these steps:

Step1

Take a good look at the situation. If you suspect someone is cheating on you or if you’re upset because someone has more than you, take a hard look. More than likely, the person you think has passed you up has problems of their own and your lover only has eyes for you.

Step2

Respect yourself. Jealousy breeds in our shortcomings and our fears. Stop going over what is going wrong in you and focus on the positive.

Step3

Get a third party’s opinion. Talk to a friend or family member who can give you a objective perspective on the situation and your jealous reactions.

Step4

Set rules. If it’s jealousy over emails with an old boyfriend, talk about what makes you feel uncomfortable and set rules. If it’s jealousy over a sibling’s achievements, talk with your parents about how they go on and on. Set rules to limit how much you’re exposed to whatever feeds the green-eyed monster.

As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you will learn how to take control of your jealousy instead of it controlling you. The last step is important . . . practice! You know the saying, practice makes perfect. So if you continue to practice these steps, controlling this stressful emotion will become easier and easier, until you have become a total master at it.

Taking control of your emotions will make you the leader and not follower of your emotions, which can prevent you from entering many unwanted territories, such as break ups, low self-esteem, depression and even an increased amount of jealousy. You will be able to focus on the more important topics in your life and see things with a more clear and open mind, which will guide you into making better decisions and finding better solutions to the obstacles you will face in your relationships and life in general.